This particular morning had been particularly hectic since the fence between us and the neighbors was being re-constructed, and that meant we had to take the dogs out on leashes. Of course, the dogs had gotten off their normal schedule since living in the apartment and didn't quite understand why they were on leashes in the backyard-- the place where they normally can just roam around while taking their sweet time doing their business. I didn't have time this morning for the 20+ minutes it would usually take to coax them into making it happen, so I let them in after about 10 minutes and went to take my shower. If they pooped inside, at least it would be easy to clean up off of the wood floors.
I checked after my shower and, not seeing any telltale signs of poop, went about getting ready for work. I grabbed my purse off the floor in my room, which had already been packed with my "lunch," cradled my laptop and water bottle in my left arm, and walked out the door to my car.
The day was basically as normal as any middle school teacher's day can be, except for a bit of a fly problem, which we reasoned was probably caused by the freshly-spread fertilizer from the tomato fields surrounding the campus. I made a mental note to buy a fly trap.
Ah, fourth period. My prep period, and time to eat. Three periods of (barely) holding the attention of 34 seventh graders always leaves me hungry! I headed to my purse that was stowed behind my desk. I reached into it for my phone, so I could put on some music while I ate.
There were traces of mushy brown substance on the back of my phone case.
There was an unmistakable stench the moment I opened my purse.
DOG POOP.
GROSS.
And it had already tainted the rubber of my phone case. There would be no getting the smell out, no matter how much I wiped it with the disinfectant wipes I keep in my classroom. Goodbye, phone case. I took it off and threw it in the trash next to my desk.
Now, to see the rest of the damage...
I held my breath and delicately removed my apple, which was now smeared with pieces of fecal matter. Thud, into the trash. My granola bar came out with a complete stool on top of it. My gift card pouch, covered with the stuff. Two emergency tampons, looking like pieces of poop themselves.
All of it... directly into the trash. (Well, I saved the gift cards.)
Thankfully, my wallet and keys were spared, as they were zipped into the front pocket. But the rest was dumped, gingerly, into the trash. Finally I threw the whole purse in.
Now to remove the trash.
I threw papers over the top of everything in the trash and knotted the bag. Thankfully my room is in the back of campus and the nearby trash cans are seldom used by the students. I sneaked out the door and hastily shoved the bag past the plastic flap and into the trash can. Phew.
Back in my room I sprayed disinfectant everywhere, even into the air, to cover up any lingering smell. By the time I was done it was about time for the students to come in for fifth period.
And I still hadn't eaten.
My mind kept wandering to HOW IN THE WORLD one of the dogs had managed to poop DIRECTLY into my purse, and WHY he head felt the need to poop INSIDE it rather than next to it.
Was it Yoshi, who would have done it just to be rude?
Was it Link, who would have done it because he is ashamed to leave his business in plain sight?
Either way, it was one of the grossest things I had cleaned up so far in my life.
Well, until the next week, when Link would get into the fly trap that was hanging too low and consume about 100 dead flies drowned in sugar water, vomiting the whole rancid mess all over the kitchen floor.
And now I have an excuse to buy a new purse!
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| Yoshi and Link on a happier day. |
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